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It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
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