Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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