I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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