you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
