I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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