i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
