i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
