There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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