he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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