so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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