I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Sober January is a disaster.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
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You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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