the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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