i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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