White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize