Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
