these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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