He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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