I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
