chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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