mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
