just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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