Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
