I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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