we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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