me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
