Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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