I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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