It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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