am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
