I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
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You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
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I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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