I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
