Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
no, he came in my armpit
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
