it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
how drunk are you?
Several
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
