I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
