She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize