The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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