i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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