Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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