Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
