need another drink. this is the easiest way
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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