i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
A+ Viking dick
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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