I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
