If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
