I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
