I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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