your parents love me but you hate me
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Come on in and take your pants off
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