Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
