How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.