pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll