you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
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He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
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there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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