i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
