new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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