i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
