I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
