After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
