I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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