I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
